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Laws and Customs of The Three Weeks and Nine Days, 5783


Laws and Customs of The Three Weeks and Nine Days, 5783

Sponsored by Dr. Rita Steiner in honor of her children’s health and success!

Parsha Halacha is sponsored by a grant from Dr. Stephen Brenner and Dr. Morton Borg in loving memory of Stephen's father, Shmuel Tzvi ben Pinchas, and Bella's and Morton's parents, Avraham ben Yitzchak and Leah bas HaRav Sholom Zev HaCohen.

Click here for a print version of this article 

Fast of the 17th of Tammuz, Thursday, July 6

This fast day commemorates five tragedies:[1]

1)     The first set of the Luchot (tablets) was broken by Moshe in the year 2448 (-1313 BCE) when he came down Mt. Sinai and saw the Jewish people worshipping the golden calf.[2]

2)     The Korban Tamid (daily sacrificial offering in the Temple/Bait Hamikdash) ceased.[3]

3)     The walls of Jerusalem were breached in the year 3829 (69 CE[4]) leading to the destruction of the Second Temple.[5]

4)     The wicked Apostumus (a Greek Hellenistic ruler[6]) burned the Torah scroll. Some say he burned the scroll which had been written by Ezra, the Scribe. Others say he burned every Torah scroll he could find.[7]

5)     An idol was placed in the Sanctuary. Some say this was done by the afore-mentioned Apostumus in the Second Temple era. Others say it was done by King Menasheh in the First Temple, sometime between the years 3228 (-533) and 3283 (-478).[8]


·        The fast begins at dawn and ends when the stars come out.

·        Under normal circumstances when one goes to sleep, it is considered as if the fast has begun, and he may not eat if he wakes up before dawn. If, however, one went to sleep with the intention of getting up and eating before dawn, one may do so.

·        One should not eat a full meal within a half hour of dawn unless they appoint someone to remind them to pray the Shacharit service.

·        Some say that one may drink if one wakes up in the middle of the night even if he had not planned on doing so. It is best, however, to specify that one intends to do so. One who normally wakes up and has a drink in middle of the night may do so on this night too, even if he didn’t specify that he planned to do this

·        Some say that one who is healthy should not eat extra before a fast but should rather experience the full difficulty of the fast.

·        It is best not to use mouthwash, brush one’s teeth or rinse one’s mouth on a public fast day.

·        One who experiences discomfort if he doesn’t brush his teeth or use mouthwash may do so. It is best if one uses mouthwash instead of water to do the rinsing. Care should be taken not to swallow anything.

·        If one forgot and ate on the fast day, when they remember they must resume fasting. In such a case, it is proper (but not obligatory) to fast another day as an atonement for his sin. If this is difficult, one may redeem the fast by giving tzedakah.

·        If one flies on a plane on a fast day, he should fast until the stars come out, even if it means this may result in a  longer or shorter fast. Some disagree and say that one should fast according to the time in the city where the flight originates.

·        If one crosses the dateline on a fast day, one should keep the fast based on the time of the location where he when he began fasting. Regardless of personal fast times, one should never eat in a public manner in a place where the people are fasting.

·        An elderly or sick person who finds it difficult to fast is not obligated to do so, nor does he need to make up the fast on a different day.

·        In such a case, one may eat in the morning and need not fast for the first part of the day.

·        One may take medication that does not have a good taste. If he needs water to help swallow a pill, it is preferable to mix into the water something that tastes bad before drinking it, such as vinegar. If this is not possible, one should use a small amount of regular water.

·        If the medicine has a good taste or if one needs to eat or drink when taking the medication (so as not to take the medication on an empty stomach), he may do so if he is ill or if by not taking the medication he would become ill.

·        In Sefardic and Chassidic communities, it is customary that pregnant or nursing women not fast on this day. In this context, a woman is considered pregnant after the 40th day from conception. In a case of weakness, one may be lenient before this time as well. In Ashkenaz, non-Chassidic communities, some say that pregnant and nursing women should fast unless they are feeling sick or weak, in which case they should eat. Others say that nowadays we can assume a pregnant woman will feel weak or sick, and therefore she need not fast. All agree that a woman who had a baby within 30 days should not fast. 

·        A woman who has had a baby (or a miscarriage) within 24 months is considered to be a nursing woman even if she is not actually nursing her baby. There are those who say that only a mother who is actually nursing is not obligated to fast.

·        Children under Bar or Bat Mitzvah need not fast.

·        Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach disagreed with the modern custom of having children fast the three fasts before their Bar or Bat Mitzvah.[10]

·        One who is not fasting should eat in private. In addition, he, as well as children who are old enough to be educated, should only eat simple foods and not sweets or treats.

·        One who is fasting may touch food (e.g., to serve her children). Some say that one may only touch food if it is necessary (i.e., if the child cannot prepare it himself).

·        If there is a brit on this day, the meal should be postponed until after the fast. One who is cooking on a fast day may not taste the food even if he spits it out.[11]

Redeeming the Fast

It is a special mitzvah to give tzedakah to the poor on fast days. This ensures that they will have enough to eat after the fast. According to the Talmud[12], the main reward of a fast day is for the Tzedaka that one customarily gives to the poor. It is customary to give this tzedakah before Mincha-time. The Mincha Haftorah reading is therefore appropriate in that it says: שִׁמְרוּ מִשְׁפָּט וַעֲשׂוּ צְדָקָה (Keep tzedakah/justice and practice righteousness).[13]

·        Some have a custom to give the poor the amount of money they would have spent on eating that day (the approximate value of two meals)].[14]

·        This is especially important for someone who was unable to fast for whatever reason.[15]

·        One who is healthy may not redeem the fast instead of fasting.[16]

Other Activities

One is permitted to work on fast days (Tisha Be’Av is an exception). In addition, one may shower and wear leather shoes. Some say that one should not take hot showers or have marital intimacy (unless it is mikvah night) on public fast days. A ba’al nefesh(scrupulous person) will be strict about these.[17]Certainly, women may bathe in preparation for mikvah and immerse as usual on the night of a fast, and men may immerse in the mikvah on the morning of a fast.[18]

On fast days one should take care to not get angry. If one does business, one should take care to be perfectly honest and conduct the transactions in a subdued manner.[19] 


The prayers on a fast day include the following additions:

·        Selichot, recited after the repetition of the Amidah. Sefardim and some Chassidim recite Selichot before the prayers.

·        The Chazan says Anienu in the Repetition of the Amidah of both Shacharit and Mincha. 

·        If the chazan forgot to recite Aneinu before the blessing of Refa’enu, he should add it to Shome’ah Tefillah as is done during the silent Amidah.[20]

·        In such a case, he should finish the bracha with the following ending ha’oneh be’et tzarah vehashome’ah Tefillah.[21] Some say that the Chazzan should finish with the standard “Shome’a Tefillah” only.

·        If the Chazzan began the Refa’enu blessing and did not yet say G-d’s name at the end of the blessing, he may go back to Aneinu and continue from there.[22]

·        The Sefardic custom is for the entire congregation (that is fasting) to recite Aneinu in Shacharit as well.[23]

·        Aneinu is added to the Amidah in the Mincha prayer by both the chazan and the congregation. Only one who is fasting should say Aneinu. If one forgot to say it in Shema Koleinu, he should say it when he finishes the Amidah before the final Yihiyu Leratzon.[24]

·        One who is praying the silent Amidah together with the Chazan who is doing the repetition, should recite Aneinu during Shema Koleinu and not together with the Chazan (who recites a separate blessing).

·        Avinu Malkeinu is recited in Shacharit and Mincha (morning and afternoon services).

·        There is a special Torah reading in Shacharit and Mincha. The Torah reading of Mincha also includes a Haftorah.

The Torah Reading

·        One who is not fasting the entire fast, (whether he has already eaten or is planning to eat) should not be called for an aliyah, nor should he be the Ba’al Koreh or the Chazzan.[25]

·        If there is only one Kohen and he is not fasting, he should leave the shul so as not be called for an aliyah.[26]

·        One who was called up to the Torah and is not fasting, should decline to receive the aliyah. If the Aliyah was given to a Torah scholar who is embarrassed that he’s not fasting and feels that announcing it would be a chillul Hashem (a desecration of G-d’s name), he may accept the Aliyah .[27] In addition, if the fast is on a Monday or Thursday (as it is this year), one who is called up may take the aliyah in Shacharit even if he is not fasting.[28]

·        Despite this, the Gabbai need not ask the potential olim (people receiving aliyot) whether they are fasting or not.[29]

·        One who is not fasting may open the Ark (peticha) and lift or wrap the Torah (hagbah and gelilah).[30]

·        The Chazan should recite the Birkat Kohanim in the repetition of the amidah of Mincha. In Sefardic congregations (and in Israel), the Kohanim give their blessing during Mincha of fast days.

The Purpose of the Fast

On the fast days, it is important to mourn over the tragedies that occurred on that day and pray to G-d that he redeem us from this bitter exile. One should do an honest reckoning of their actions and rectify whatever needs rectification in order to correct the sins which caused the tragedies that occurred to warrant this fast.[31]

·        In earlier times it was customary for the Rav or spiritual leader of a congregation to speak inspirational words (after Minchah) on a fast day.[32]The Lubavitcher Rebbe encouraged the revival of this custom.[33]

Three Weeks and Nine Days

We call the period between the Fast of the Seventeenth of Tammuz and the Fast of the Ninth of Av “The Three Weeks” and the days between Rosh Chodesh Av and the Ninth of Av “The Nine Days.” The Three Weeks commemorate the destruction of the Holy Temples as well as other tragedies that occurred in this time period. The mourning intensifies after Rosh Chodesh Av, which is why the laws of mourning become stricter, culminating with the Fast of Tisha Be’Av (the Ninth of Av), the day on which both Temples were destroyed.

Following are the basic laws that apply during this time. For more details, please see the Code of Jewish Law, Orach Chaim Simanim 549 – 559.

The Three Weeks 

Thursday, The Fast of the 17 of Tammuz/July 6 to Friday, 10 Menachem Av /July 28

A Mournful Yet Auspicious Time

Despite the fact that The Three Weeks is a time of mourning, it is also an opportune time to connect to the Almighty. This is alluded to in the verse: כָּל-רֹדְפֶיהָ הִשִּׂיגוּהָ בֵּין הַמְּצָרִים “All those who run after her reached her bein hameitzarim (between the straits).”[34] This can be interpreted to mean that all those who exert themselves will be able to connect to the Shechinah in the time of the Three Weeks,which is referred to as bein hameitzarim.[35]

The reason for this is that when a person serves G-d at a difficult time it is all the more precious.[36] In this sense, the Three Weeks can be compared to the 21 days from Rosh Hashana to Hoshana Rabba.[37]

According to most opinions, the laws relating to the Three Weeks begin on the night before the fast (Wednesday night, July 5).[38]

During the Three Weeks the following rules apply:

She’hechiyanu and Purchasing New Items

·        One should not say the blessing of Shehechiyanu which blesses the time since this is considered a “negative time.”[39] Some say that one may recite the Shehechiyanublessing on Shabbat and on Rosh Chodesh Av.[40] According to Chabad custom, one does not say Shehechiyanu on Shabbat.[41]

·        If one will not be able to have this fruit later on because it is going out of season, one may say Shehechiyanu and eat the fruit even during the Nine Days.[42] In this case, it is better to wait until Shabbat if possible.[43]

·        If one began to make a blessing on a new fruit and remembered that it is the Three Weeks after he already mentioned G-d’s name, he should complete both blessings (the Shehechiyanu and the Borei Pri Ha’etz) and eat the fruit in order not to transgress the sin of saying a blessing in vain.[44]

·        If one is doing a Pidyon Haben during these weeks or if one has a baby girl, the Bracha of Shehechiyanu should be said.[45]

·        One may say the blessing of HaGomel or Hatov Vehameitiv (on hearing news that is good for oneself and for others or when drinking plentiful wine) during the Three Weeks.

·        It is customary not to move to a new house or apartment during these weeks.[46]

·        One who needs to move into a new house (or apartment) should put some important furniture into the house before the Three Weeks begin.[47]

·        One may purchase an investment property during these days.[48]

·        It is customary not to do major renovations or paint one’s house during the Three Weeks, One who began these activities before the 17th of Tammuz may complete them up .[49] One who needs to paint or make urgent repairs may do so. (See below regarding the Nine Days.)

·        It is customary not to purchase a new home during this time as it is not an auspicious time. Nevertheless, as this is not forbidden by the letter of the law, one may do so if a financial loss would result. This is certainly true if the closing will not take place until after Tisha Be’Av

·        One should not purchase new clothes (that are significant) or other important items. Some are lenient in this regard for those who do not customarily say Shehecheyanu on these items.[50] (See below regarding the Nine Days.) One may purchase (and wear) clothing that aren’t particularly significant, such as underwear and socks.

·        One who needs a new Talit or Talit Kattan may purchase and wear it during this time.

·        If one finds clothes on a sale that will not be available for that price after TishaBe’Av, one may buy them during the Three Weeks but not during the Nine Days. This is particularly true when buying for one’s children and is not paying all of the money at the time of sale (i.e., when purchasing on “layaway”).[51]

·        It is best not to purchase important pieces of furniture during this time. One who needs these items urgently or if one finds them at a significantly reduced price may purchase them.


·        It is customary not to listen to music during the Three Weeks, including recorded music. Regarding vocals only (acapella): Some are strict [52] while others are lenient.[53]

·        One should also not allow his children who have reached the age of chinuch(education) to listen to music.[54]

·        One may sing while davening (praying) or studying Torah or while at a farbrengen or the like, as this adds to one’s inspiration in serving the Almighty. Otherwise, one should refrain from singing.[55]

·        A music teacher who would suffer financial loss by not teaching music at this time may teach up until the week of Tisha Be’Av.[56] Nevertheless, the students should not practice at home during this time unless they are learning music to make their parnassah (livelihood).[57]

·        One may not watch movies or TV shows that include music. It is best not to watch these ever, as many of them contain immodest or violent themes and scenes. (Besides the fact that they are, for the most part, a waste of time.)  

·        One who is listening to the news on the radio (or other permissible content) need not turn off the radio if there is an occasional musical “jingle” as an interlude since he does not intend to pay attention to these.[58]  

·        One may listen to music while exercising if this helps them exercise since they are not listening for pleasure. 


·        It is customary not to get married at this time (all of the Three Weeks).[59]

·        The Sefardic and Yemenite custom is to refrain from marriage only during the Nine Days.[60] Some Sefardim refrain during all of the Three Weeks.[61]

·        It is permissible to have an engagement party in the Three Weeks, but there should not be music or dancing.[62] (See below that during the Nine Days, one may get engaged but may not have an engagement meal.) Also, one should serve snacks at an engagement party rather than a full meal. It is permissible to sing (without music) at such occasions, but it is best to minimize this as well.[63]

Dangerous Activities

·        One should refrain from engaging in dangerous activities during the Three Weeks as this is considered an inauspicious time.[64]

·        For example, one should try to refrain from:

o  Having a non-urgent operation or other optional medical procedure.[65]

o  Hiking in places that are considered dangerous.

o  Hitting one’s children (This is rarely recommended.)

o  Swimming in dangerous areas.[66]


·        It is customary for Ashkenazim not to take haircuts during this time.[67]

·        Sefardim only refrain from taking haircuts during the week of Tisha Be’Av.[68]

·        If one’s mustache is getting in the way of his eating, he may trim it until the week of Tisha Be’Av. (See below)[69]

·        If one needs to shave (in a permissible way[70]) for business reasons, there is room for leniency during the Three Weeks and the beginning of the Nine Days, but not during the week of Tisha Be’Av.[71] One should discuss this with their rabbi.

·        One should also not give haircuts to their young children at this time.[72]

·        If a child’s third birthday falls during the Three Weeks, the upsherinish (first haircut) should be postponed until after Tisha Be’Av.[73]

·        If a woman needs to cut her hair for reasons of modesty, she may do so even during the Nine Days.[74]

·        Generally, one should refrain from cutting bodily hair at this time, but, if necessary, a woman may pluck her eyebrows or wax her legs until the week of Tisha Be’Av.[75]

·        Combing hair is permissible even in the week of Tisha Be’Av.[76]

·        There is room for leniency if a young lady needs to take a haircut in preparation for a shidduch date up until the week of Tisha Be’Av.[77]

·        A father of a baby who is having a brit milah may take a haircut on the day of the brit in honor of the brit. The same applies to the mohel and/or sandak.

·        One whose aveilut (mourning period) ended during the Three Weeks but before Rosh Chodesh Av, may take a haircut at that time. Some are lenient until the week of Tisha Be’Av.[78]

Leisure Travel

Some say that it is preferable not to travel on pleasure trips during the Three Weeks. Certainly, this is not appropriate during the Nine Days.[79]

Positive Things

·        During the (Three Weeks and) Nine Days, one should add in Torah study and giving Tzedakah, especially to support mini-sanctuaries, i.e., shuls and yeshivot.[80]

·        The Lubavitcher Rebbe instituted that one should increase in learning about the Bait HaMikdash (Holy Temple) during this time. The Midrash equates learning about the Bait HaMikdash to building it.[81] Thus, by learning about it, it is as if we are building it.[82]

·        The Rebbe recommended that one learn:

o  the relevant chapters of Yechezkel (Ezekiel 40 – 43) with commentaries,

o  Tractate Middot (and parts of Tamid[83]) with commentaries,

o  and the Rambam (Hilchot Bait HaBechirah) with commentaries.

During this season, the Rebbe would often extrapolate on this theme.

·        The Rebbe encouraged that children should learn these subjects as well (in a manner that is appropriate for their age).

·        The Three Weeks are an opportune time to do Teshuvah. These 21 days[84]correspond to gematriyah (numerical value) of the Divine name of Ekyeh (אה־יה). One who does Teshuvah in these days merits a blessing in his sustenance.[85] According to the Zohar, these 22 days (counting the fasts of the 17th of Tammuz and of Tisha Be’Av) correspond to the 22 years that Yosef was separated from Yaakov.[86]

·        The three parshiyot (Torah portions) that are read publicly in these weeks are Matot, Masei and Devarim (Pinchas is usually read during the Three Weeks. But when Matot and Masei are read as separate portions, Pinchas is read before the Three Weeks.) These correspond to different kinds of contemplation that should lead one to Teshuvah, which we should be doing in these days,that are listed in the beginning of Pirkei Avot Chapter 3:

  • (Roshei Ha)Matot – Tribal leaders correspond to the concept of Da MeAyin Bata – “Know from where you come.”
  • Masei – Travels correspond to the concept of Le’An Attah Holech – “Know where you are going.”
  • Devarim – Words correspond to the concept of Lifnei Mi Attah Atid Litein Din VeCheshbon – “the reckoning we will have to give G-d after 120 years.”[87]

The Nine Days 

Wednesday, Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av/July 19 to Friday, 10 Menachem Av /July 28  

From Rosh Chodesh Av until after Tisha Be’av, it is appropriate to minimize joy in the manner explained below.[88] Despite this, one should maintain and even increase in permissible joy, such as Torah study.[89]

During the Nine Days, the following rules apply:

Court Cases

·        If one has a court case with a non-Jew, one should try to postpone it until after the Nine Days.[90] If possible, one should reschedule it for after 15 Av[91] or, better yet, for the month of Elul.[92]

Renovations – New Homes

One should not build or renovate one’s home (unless it’s essential. See below).[93]

·        One who is in middle of renovating his home and is paying non-Jewish workers by the job need not stop the workers from their job if this will cause him a significant financial loss.[94] If one can pay them a small amount for them to delay their work, it is better to do so.

·        One who is renovating because his living quarters are too cramped may do the work in the Nine Days, up until the seventh of Av.[95]

·        Building for the sake of a mitzvah (e.g., a shul), yeshivah of other communal building) is permissible as is building to prevent a financial loss (e.g., if a wall needs strengthening to prevent it from breaking).[96]

·        One may sign a contract to buy or lease a home or apartment if by not doing so he may lose that opportunity.[97]

·        It is best not to move into a new home or apartment during this time. If possible, one should postpone this until after the 15th of Av[98] or, better yet, until the month of Elul.[99]

·        One should not plant a garden for pleasure. But one may plant for the purpose of eating fruits or vegetables. One may water and maintain their garden even if it does not produce food.[100]

Buying New Items

·        One should refrain from buying furniture or other expensive household items in the Nine Days even if one does not recite Shehechiyanu on these items. The same applies to a new car. One may, however, purchase such items for business use.[101] One who needs items for their homes urgently (e.g., if they need a new air conditioning unit or washing machine) may purchase them. 

●      One should also not buy simple clothing such as underwear.

●      One may not buy articles of clothing even if they don’t plan to wear them util after Tisha Be’Av.

●      If necessary, one may purchase non-leather shoes to wear on Tisha Be’Av. In this case, one should wear them for the first time before Tisha Be’Av.[102]

●      One may purchase a sefer (holy book) from which to study Torah.

●      One may purchase simple items for home use such as plates and cups.[103]


Washing Clothes

·        One may not wash or iron clothes during the Nine Days even if one does not plan to wear them until after Tisha Be-Av. Neither may one have a non-Jew wash or iron his clothes for him.[104] It is even forbidden to wash with water alone without any detergent.

·        The Sefardic custom is to allow washing of clothes up until the week of TishaBe’Av. 

·        The clothes of very young children that are constantly getting dirty may be washed.[105] It is customary to be lenient with the clothes of children under six years of age.[106] If one can have a non-Jew wash these clothes, that is preferred.[107]

·        It is not necessary to purchase new clothing for one’s young children in order to avoid washing.[108]

·        If all of one’s clothes are soiled to the extent that they cannot be worn, one may wash the minimum that one needs to wear.[109]

·        In the case where one is permitted to wash certain clothes (as explained above), one may not add other clothes (that are not permissible to wash) to the washing machine.[110]

·        When starting a wash load on Erev Rosh Chodesh (Tuesday, July 18), one should take care to start it at such a time that the washing cycle will be complete before sundown. If necessary, one may begin the load if it will finish before nightfall.[111]Some permit even starting the wash load right before sunset if the main washing will be complete before nightfall.[112]

·        One should not bring his clothes to the laundromat or dry cleaners[113] even if he tells them not to clean the clothes until after Tisha Be’Av. Some are lenient in this matter.[114]

·        Some say that a woman may not wash her wig (sheitel) during the Nine Days.[115]Others allow it.[116]

·        One who is traveling should take as many clothes as he will need for the trip rather than wash them during the trip.[117] Others say that if it would be a great bother to take this amount of clothes, one may take less clothes and wash them when he has used them up.[118]

·        Some say that one should not polish his shoes in these days. However, one may do so in honor of Shabbat.[119]

·        One may spot-wash a stain as this small act does not distract one from mourning.[120]

Wearing Freshly Laundered Clothing

·        One may not wear freshly laundered clothes during this time. Sefardim only need to observe this law during the week of Tisha Be’Av.[121]

·        Similarly, one should not use fresh sheets, tablecloths, towels or hand towels.[122]

·        If one needs to change one’s underwear due to discomfort, it is permissible.[123]

·        If necessary, a woman may wash and wear the white garments she needs in order to count the seven clean days.

·        It is customary to “pre-wear” other articles of clothing to be able to wear them during the Nine Days. The changes of clothing should be worn for enough time for them to be considered “worn” (a half hour is recommended) and not merely put on and taken off.[124] Some say that for white clothing, even one minute is sufficient.[125] This is not necessary for underwear and socks (see above).

·        One may not “pre-wear” one’s clothes on the Shabbat during the Nine Days as this is considered a preparation for the weekdays. But one may put on a different shirt when they wake up in the morning and again after their afternoon nap as it is not obvious why one is doing so. One should not specify as to why they are doing this.[126]

·        One who did not prepare clothes in this manner and needs to change his clothes should put the fresh clothes on the ground in such way that it get (a bit) dirty (or at least wrinkled). He may then wear them.[127]

·        One may provide a (new) guest with fresh sheets and towels.[128]

·        One may wash towels that are needed for public use such as a mikvah.

·        One should educate older children to observe these laws as well.

·        One may wear fresh clothes on Shabbos. The same applies to towels and tablecloths. 

·        One who is going on a date (for shidduch purposes) may wear fresh clothes (and, if necessary, even new clothes) in order to look presentable.[129]

·        One should also not wear new clothes even if they were purchased before the Three Weeks began.

·        One who is staying in a hotel should ask them not to change the sheets and towels but may use the fresh ones that are on the beds etc. when one arrives.[130]

Wearing Shabbat Clothes

One may not wear Shabbat clothes during the weekdays of the Nine Days.[131] (In general, one should not wear one’s Shabbat clothing during the week unless it is a special occasion.[132]) While in some (non-Chassidic) communities, the custom is not to wear Shabbat clothes on Shabbat of the Nine Days except for the Shabbat shirt, the Chassidic custom is to wear Shabbat clothing.[133] This is also the custom of the Vilna Gaon as well as the Sefardic custom.[134] The reason for this custom is that it is forbidden to show public signs of mourning on Shabbat, and wearing weekday clothes on Shabbat is considered a public sign of mourning.[135]

·        One may don Shabbat clothes (as per the customs mentioned above) on Friday afternoon at the same time one normally does on other Fridays.[136] After Shabbat, some say that one should remove these clothes immediately.[137] Other disagree.[138]

·        According to most opinions, one may not wear new clothes on the Shabbatot of the Nine Days.[139] If there is a brit or a pidyon haben, the parents, mohel, sandak or Kohen may wear (freshly laundered) Shabbat clothes. The woman who brings in the baby (kvater) may do so as well.[140]

·        A bar mitzvah boy as well as his parents and grandparents may wear Shabbat clothes at his bar mitzvah celebration.


One may not crochet, do needlework, knit, sew or do alterations on clothing at this time, nor may one ask (or pay) a non-Jew to do it.[141] The reason for this is that the word for spinning (shetiyah) is similar to the even hashetiyah (the stone in the Holy of Holies upon which the Aron Kodesh was placed). By refraining from spinning thread, weaving, and sewing clothes, we remember that the building that stood over the evenhashetiyah was destroyed.[142]

·        In addition, this activity distracts one from the focus on mourning and is similar to washing clothes.[143]

·        Both Sefardim and Ashkenazim should refrain from this for all of the Nine Days.[144]

·        One may sew a button or a patch on a torn garment as the above rule does not apply to minor repairs.[145]

·        By the letter of the law, one may hire a non-Jew to sew a new garment if it will not be ready until after Tisha Be’Av. It is, however, better to refrain from this as well.[146]

Eating Meat and Drinking Wine

It is customary not to eat meat or chicken or to drink wine or grape juice during the Nine Days.[147] The reason for this is to commemorate the loss of the wine libations and animal (meat) sacrifices.[148]

·        In some Sefardic communities it is customary to permit eating meat and drinking wine on Rosh Chodesh and only to forbid it after this.[149]

·        One may eat meat and/or drink wine if it is a seudat mitzvah (mitzvah feast). This includes: a Brit Milah, Pidyon Haben or a Siyum of a masechta which was completed on one’s regular learning schedule.[150]

·        This only includes one who would normally attend this simcha if it had happened during the rest of the year.[151]

·        It is customary not to eat food cooked with meat or chicken. If the food was not cooked with actual meat but was merely cooked in a fleishig (meaty) pot, it may be eaten.[152]

·        One may cook with wine if the taste of the wine will not be noticed in the dish.[153]If one made a bracha on a piece of meat (or on wine) and then realized it is in the middle of the Nine Days, he should taste a small amount so that his bracha not be in vain.[154]

·        If a young child needs to eat meat or chicken for health reasons, one may feed it to him.[155]

·        One who is ill may eat meat in order to gain strength.[156]

·        On Shabbat one may eat meat and drink wine.[157]

·        One who accepts Shabbat early may drink the Kiddush wine and eat meat at the Shabbat meal even before the sunset.[158]

·        On the Shabbat Chazon, if one is having the third meal with a community, they may continue to eat meat and drink even after dark. Some disagree.[159]

·        Regarding Havdalah see below.

·        It is customary not to drink grape juice, but it is permissible to drink other alcoholic beverages including cognac.[160]


·        It is customary not to bathe during the Nine Days.[161]

·        The Sefardic custom is to refrain from bathing only during the week of TishaBe’Av.[162]

·        If, as a result of heat and perspiration, one feels uncomfortable, one may shower or bathe, but only as necessary to relieve one’s discomfort.[163]

·        One may wash parts of one’s body with soap and cold water.[164]

·        Children who are constantly getting dirty may be bathed.[165]

·        A man who goes to the mikvah on a daily or weekly basis may continue to do so during the Nine Days (but not on Tisha Be’Av).[166]

·        A sofer who usually immerses in the mikvah before writing holy scrolls may do so during the Nine Days. Similarly, a sandak or a mohel may immerse in a mikvah before the brit.

·        By the letter of the law, Ashkenazim should not have a full shower on Erev Shabbat Chazon (July 21). Rather they should wash their hands, face, and feet with hot water and soap and their hair without soap. Some are lenient in this regard.[167]

·        A woman whose Mikvah night is during the Nine Days may prepare for the Mikvah with a hot bath and immerse in the Mikvah as usual.[168]

·        A woman whose Mikvah night is the night after Tisha Be’Av should bathe and prepare herself on Erev Tisha Be’Av.[169] Some say she should do the preparations after Tisha Be’Av.[170]


There are differing opinions regarding cutting one’s nails during the week of Tisha be’Av. In practice, Ashkenazim should be strict in this regard. During the rest of the Nine Days, it is permissible.[171]


It is permissible to get engaged during the Nine Days. One may have an engagement party without music or dancing. One may serve snacks but not a meal.[172]


During the Nine Days, it is customary not to take a pleasure trip as this distracts from the mourning. One who needs to go on a non-pleasure trip should begin the preparations for the trip before the Nine Days.[173]

Giving Gifts

●      Some say that one should refrain from giving gifts during the Nine Days.[174]Others disagree. [175] (See below regarding Tisha Be’Av.)

Kidush Levana

●      It is customary not to do Kiddush Levana until after Tisha Be’Av since until then people are in a state of sadness and mourning.[176] The Vilna Gaon was of the opinion that one should do Kiddush Levana as soon as possible after the 3rd day of the month and not wait until after Tisha Be’Av.[177]

●      In a place that often has clouds, one may do Kiddush Levana before Tisha Be’Av in order to ensure that he not miss it completely.[178]

Positive Things 

·        It is a Chassidic custom to make or participate in Siyumim (celebration of completing a Torah Tractate) during the Nine Days. The Lubavitcher Rebbe explained[179] that by increasing in Torah joy, we begin the transformation of these days to a time of joy and rejoicing, a transformation that will be complete in the Messianic era, as the verse says: “So said the L-rd of Hosts: ‘The Fast of the Fourth (the Seventeenth of Tammuz which comes out in the fourth month from Nissan), the Fast of the Fifth (Tisha Be’Av), the Fast of the Seventh (Tzom Gedalya), and the Fast of the Tenth (Asara BeTevet) shall be for the house of Judah for joy and happiness and for happy holidays.”[180]

·        If possible, the siyumim should take place on every day of the Nine Days including Tisha Be’Av. Since on Tisha Be’Av it is forbidden to study most parts of the Torah, the siyum should be made on Mo’ed Kattan whose last chapter may be studied on TishaBe’Av.

·        One should endeavor to include as many people as possible in these siyumim in a manner of Berov Am Hadrat Melech (A large crowd is an honor to the king).[181]

·        One who cannot make it to the siyum can participate in the simcha of the siyum by hearing it on the radio or the phone.[182] If that is how he participates, it is forbidden for him to eat meat or drink wine.

·        The Chabad custom is not to eat meat or drink wine at these siyumim unless the person finished the tractate in the course of their regular learning. Even in such a case, only people who would otherwise be invited to the siyum may eat meat as explained above

·        The Rebbe suggested that this custom of having siyumim be extended to the 15thAv.[183]

·        One should add in giving tzedakah and studying Torah during this time. 

·        It is especially appropriate to add to the study about the Bait HaMikdash at this time (see above).[184]

Tuesday, Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av/July 19

This day is the Yohrteit of Ahron HaKohen

Shabbat Chazon, 4 Menachem Av/July 21 and 22 

The Shabbat before Tisha Be’av is referred to as Shabbat Chazon, reflecting the first word of the haftorah reading. Because the word Chazon means vision, the great Chassidic master, Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, taught that every year on this Shabbat, G-d shows us a vision of the Future Bait HaMikdash. Even if we are not aware of this vision, our neshamot (souls) are aware of it, and this causes us to yearn for the rebuilding of the Temple.

·        If one needs to taste the meat or chicken dishes that one is cooking on Friday, one may do so.[185]

·        One may also feed one’s young children the meat or chicken from the Shabbat food several hours before Shabbat.[186]

·        In places where people customarily dance on Shabbat, they may do so on this Shabbat as well.[187]

·        As mentioned above, most communities have the custom to wear Shabbat clothes on Shabbat.

·        One may wash clothes on Friday if one needs them for Shabbat. If possible, one should have a gentile do this.[188]

·        One should have a joyful Shabbat meal as one would every week.

·        In some communities, the Haftorah is chanted to the tune of Eicha. This is not the Chabad custom.[189]

·        Some have the custom to call up the Rav of the community for the maftir.[190]

·        One may eat meat and drink wine as usual on this Shabbat as mentioned above even if one accepted Shabbat early. 

·        Regarding Havdalah, some say that one should have a child (who is too young to be educated about mourning for the Beit HaMikdash[191]) drink the wine or grape juice.[192] This is the common Ashkenazi (and Chabad[193]) custom. Others say that one may drink it themselves. This is the Sefardic custom.[194] If there is no child available, one may drink the wine themselves.[195] (Some say that in this case one should use beer (or grape juice[196]) for Havdalah.[197])[198]

·        Some have the custom to make Havdalah on grape juice or on other important beverages such as beer.[199]

·        See above regarding reciting Kiddush Levana.

·        One should not eat meat at the Melava Malka.[200]

Sunday, 5 Menachem Av/ July 23

This day is the yahrtzeit of the Arizal.

The Laws and Customs of Tisha Be’Av will be addressed in a separate article, G-d willing.

May these days be transformed to days of rejoicing with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days!

[1] See Taanit 26a and b and 28b

[2] See Taanit 28b and Rashi on Ex. 32:1 that Moshe ascended Mount Sinai on the 7th of Sivan. He descended 40 days later on the 17th of Tammuz which is when he broke the luchot 

[3] There are three opinions as to when this occurred.

A)     The Rambam (Laws of Ta’anit 5:2) says that it occurred before the destruction of the first Bait HaMikdash. Apparently, due to the siege of the city, there were no lambs to be found. See Rashi on Erkin 11b. 

B)      The Tiferet Yisrael (based on Bava Kamma 82b) says that it took place during the civil war between the two brothers Yochanan and Aristobulus, sons of the Hasmonean King Yannai.

C)      The Jerusalem Talmud (Ta’anit 4:5) says that it occurred in the Roman siege that led up to the destruction of the Second Beit HaMikdash. See also Rashi on Ta’anit 26b).

[4] There are differing opinions as to the year of the Temple’s destruction, whether it was the year 68, 69 or 70. See here.

[5] In the time leading up to the destruction of the first Beit HaMikdash, the walls of Jerusalem were breached on the 9th of Tammuz (see Ta’anit 28b). (According to the Jerusalem Talmud this breach occurred on the 17th of Tammuz.) During the 70 years of the Babylonian Exile the Jewish people fasted on the 9th of Tammuz. When the second Beit HaMikdash was built, that fast was suspended. After the destruction of the second Beit HaMikdash the sages commemorated the breaching of the city walls in both the first and second Beit HaMikdash era, with one fast day. They chose the 17th rather than the 9th of Tammuz as the pain of that breach was more recent. (Commentaries cited in the Metivta Shas on Ta’anit 26b.)

[6] Rabbi Ovadiah of Bartuenura on the Mishna Ta’anit 4:6

[7] Tiferet Yisrael on the Mishna

[8] Tosfot Yom Tov on Ta’anit, ibid, see also II Kings, 21:7 and Sanhedrin 103b

[9] See the following sources for the section about this fast. Shulchan Aruch HaRav, 70:5 and 611:9O.C. 564 and 567:2 and Mishnah BerurahRama O.C. 550:1, 4 and 5567:1568:12, Piskei Teshuvot, 550, note 1 and 2, Avnei Nezer, O.C. 540, and Mishnah Berurah 235:18550:3 and 5, Da’at Torah, 550:1, D”H Veyesh, Nitei Gavriel, Hilchot Bein HaMietzarim, 5:1 in the name of the Pupa Rov, Mateh Efrayim 602:22 - 23, O.C. 554:5, Mishbetzot Zahav and Eishel Avraham, end of Siman 612, O.C. 559:9, Magen Avraham ibid 11, Yalkut Yosef, Laws of the Four Fasts 7, Nitei Gavriel 4:5, 5:4 and 9, Shevet HaLevi 8:261, Yaskil Avdi 8:31, Igrot Moshe O.C. 3:91, Betzel Hachochmah 1:31, Kaf HaChaim, 549:11 citing the Elya Rabbah and others

[10] Mishnah Berurah with Dirshu 549:12

[11] But see Mishnah Berurah on 567:1 that it is permissible to taste a small amount and spit it out when cooking for a Seudat Mitzvah that will take place that night.

[12] Brachot 6b

[13] Tosfot D.H. Hakore, Megillah 21a cited in Elya Rabbah 566:2.

[14] Mateh Efraim 602:21 and Mishnah Berurah 566:12

[15] Mateh Efraim, ibid 23

[16] Ibid

[17] Mishnah Berurah 550:6 and Sha’ar HaTziyun, 8

[18] Ibid 3

[19] Kaf HaChaim, 549:11 in the name of the Shela

[20] Mishna Berurah 565:3

[21] Luach Kollel Chabad, Tzom Gedalyah

[22] Shulchan Aruch HaRav, 119:5

[23] O.C. 565:3 and Kaf HaChaim 14

[24] O.C. 565:2 and Mishnah Berurah, 7

[25] 566:5-6 and Mishnah Berurah 20

[26] O.C. 566:6

[27] Mishnah Berurah, ibid 21

[28] ibid 19

[29] Nitei Gavriel 12:11

[30] Mateh Efrayim 602:15

[31] See Piskei Teshuvot 549:1

[32] Rambam, Laws of Ta’anit, 4:2

[33] Likutei Sichot 20:352

[34] Eicha 1:3

[35] Avodat Yisrael of the Kozhnitzer Maggid, Parshat Masei. This thought is also quoted in the sefer Zichron Shmuel by Rabbi Shmuel Shmarya of Ostrow (Parshat Matot) in the name of the Baal Shem Tov.

[36] See No’am Elimelech, Parshat Vayeshev, D.H. Oh Yomar Vayeshev

[37] See Chidushei Aggadot Maharsha, Bechorot 8a (pg. 156 bottom of left column)

[38] See sources quoted in Nitei Gavriel, chapter 14, note 13, and Igrot Moshe O.C. vol. 1, number 168

[39] O.C. 551:17

[40] Mishnah Berurah 551:98. This is based on the fact that the Vilna Gaon holds that one may make Shehechiyanu throughout the Three Weeks, coupled with the fact that some are lenient on Shabbat. Similarly, some are lenient on Rosh Chodesh (Sha’ar HaTziyun, 99) and allow one to say Shehechiyanu on a fruit. Even so, one should not say Shehechiyanu on a new garment, even on Shabbat (Kaf HaChaim 205). 

[41] HaYom Yom, Tammuz 21

[42] Rama O.C. ibid

[43] Yechave Da’at 1:37

[44] Yalkut Yosef, Yemei Bein HaMeitzarim, 9

[45] O.C. ibid

[46] Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag 2, siman 225 

[47] Nitei Gavriel 18:1 quoting Responsa Machazeh Avraham, vol. 3, Siman 13..

[48] See Nitei Gavriel 18, footnote 5 and sources quoted there that there are two reasons for not buying or moving into a new house. One is because  it is forbidden to say the Shehechiyanu blessing. The second is that it is not an auspicious time. If, however, one is buying the property as an investment, neither of these reasons apply. 

[49] Elya Rabba 551:4

[50] See Nitei Gavriel 17:13

[51] Ibid 9

[52] Ibid 15:1 quoting the Shevet HaLevi, 2:57 and 6:69See here

[53] Shevet HaLevi 8:127 citing this as the common custom (with which he disagrees) but says that one can explain their custom.

[54] Nitei Gavriel 15:1, quoting the Igrot Moshe O.C. 4:21:4

[55] Nitei Gavriel 15:10 - 12

[56] Tzitz Eliezer 16:19

[57] BeTzel Hachochma 6:61

[58] She’arim HaMetzuyanim Behalacha on Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, 126, cited in Shevet HaLevi, 6:69.

[59] Rama, O.C. 551:2

[60] Mechaber, O.C. ibid, Yabi’ah Omer 6:43, Yalkut Yosef O.C. vol. 13 page 552

[61] See Kaf HaChaim 551:44

[62] Mishna Berurah 551:16 and 19 and Sha’ar HaTziyon, 26

[63] Halichot Shlomo, Bein HaMeitzarim, Dvar Halacha, 6

[64] See O.C. ibid 18

[65] See Sha’arie Halacha Uminhag 2, pg. 172 and Igrot Kodesh, 24, page 357

[66] Nitei Gavriel 23:3

[67] Rama, O.C. ibid, 4

[68] See Mechaber O.C. ibid and Yalkut Yosef, ibid, page 562

[69] Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:4 see O.C., ibid, 13

[70] See

[71] Igrot Moshe 4:102. As to the week of Tisha Be’Av, see there O.C. vol. 5, Siman 24, ot 9, regarding one who will lose his job and will not have money to feed his family and is unable to borrow money.

[72] Mishnah Berurah 551:82. See there that some are lenient in this regard until the week of Tisha Be’Av.

[73] Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag 2, pg. 303

[74] Mishnah Berurah, 79

[75] See Piskei Teshuvot 551:43

[76] Mishnah Berurah, 551:20

[77] Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Halichot Shlomo, Bein HaMeitzarim 14, Devar Halacha, 10

[78] Kaf Hachaim 551:82

[79] Nitei Gavriel 23:3

[80] Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag 2, pg. 181 and in footnote. 11 and 14. See also Igrot Kodesh vol. 30, pg. 257, and Hitva’aduyot 5750, vol 4, page 54

[81] Tanchuma, Tzav, 14

[82] See Likutei Sichot, 18, sicha on Parshat Masei – Bein HaMeitzarim (pg. 411).

[83] Hitva’aduyot ibid, page 55, note 186

[84] The three weeks are actually 22 days since they span three weeks and one day. Perhaps the number of 21 does not count the 17th of Tammuz since the fast only starts in the morning. See above regarding the laws of mourning on the eve of the 17th of Tammuz.

[85] Ohr LaShamayim by Rav Meir Rotenberg of Apt (1760 – 1827), Parshat Balak, paragraph beginning with Keil Motziam MiMitzrayim

[86]Zohar Chadash, Parshat VaYeishev page 29, side 4

[87] Nitei Gavriel 24, note 12 in the name of Rav Yaakov Tanenbaum of Potnack

[88] Taanit 26b                                                          

[89] See Likutei Sichot vol. 29 pg. 250 footnote 84

[90] O.C. 551:1

[91] Hanhagot Chassam Sofer, quoted in Nitei Gavriel, 27, note 15

[92] Magen Avraham, quoted in Mishnah Berurah, on ibid, 2

[93] Mishnah Berurah, 551:12

[94] Ibid

[95] Ibid and Nitei Gavriel, 28:8

[96] Mishnah Berurah, 551:12 and 13

[97] Nitei Gavriel, 28:11

[98] Igrot Kodesh, 9, page 228 (The Rebbe recommends placing a Siddur, Chumash, Tehillim and Tanya in the house before moving in the other items.)

[99] Ibid, 19, page 390

[100] O.C. 551:2, Nitei Gavriel 29:13-163

[101] Igrot Moshe, O.C. vol. 3:80, Rav Vozner in Kovetz MiBait Levi, vol. 13, page 27

[102] Ibid, page 26 and Kaf HaChaim 551:96

[103] Nitei Gavriel, 30:1

[104] Rama, O.C. 551:3

[105] See O.C. 551:14

[106] Nitei Gavriel, 36:3 see there for other opinions

[107] Ibid and Kaf Hachaim 151:180

[108] Nitei Gavriel, 36:7 

[109] Ibid, 35:5

[110] Ibid, 14

[111] Ibid, 15

[112] Piskei Teshuvot 551:22 in the name of the Shevet HaKehati

[113] Nitei Gavriel 35:16

[114] See Mishnah Berurah, ibid, 34

[115] Rav Vozner, Kovet MiBait Levi, Bein HaMeitzarim, page 27 and Nitei Gavriel 36:31

[116] Rav Sheinberg cited in Responsa Rivevot Efrayim, vol. 6, Siman 291, ot 3

[117] Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach cited in Nitei Gavriel, 35, note 46

[118] Piskei Teshuvot 551:21 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein. SeeSefer HaZikaron Mevakshei Torah, Chol HaMoed, page 465b, regarding Chol HaMoed.

[119] Igrot Moshe O.C. 3:80 

[120] Kovetz MiBait Levi, page 27

[121] O.C. ibid, 3

[122] See Mishnah Beurah on ibid 33

[123] Nitei Gavriel 34:5

[124] Ibid, 3, Yalkut Yosef, Dinei Yemei Tisha Be’Av, 12

[125] Rav Gestetner, cited in Responsa Rivevot Efrayim, 3:340

[126] Ben Ish Chai in response Rav Pa’alim, vol. 4, O.C. 29

[127] Nitei Gavriel 34:4

[128] Ibid, 21

[129] Ibid, 12 and Shevet HaLevi, 9:131:4

[130] See Nitei Gavriel 34:22

[131] O.C. 551:1

[132] See Shulchan Aruch HaRav 262:3

[133] See sources quoted in Nitei Gavriel, 45:1

[134] Kaf HaChaim, 551:13. Yalkut Yosef, ibid, 15.

[135] Responsa of Radvaz, vol. 2, Siman 693. See Aruch HaShulchan, 551:11. . That in earlier generations the Shabbat clothes were not so different than the weekday clothes, so it was not a public sign of morning to wear the weekday clothes on Shabbat. 

[136] Nitei Gavriel 45:6

[137] Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchatah, vol.2, chapter 65 note 152 in the name of the Chazon Ish

[138] Nitei Gavriel 46:13

[139] Igrot Moshe, O.C. vol. 3:80

[140] Mishnah Berurah, 551:3

[141] O.C. ibid, 7 See Mishnah Berurah 53

[142] Talmud Yerushalmi, Pesachim 4, 1

[143] Vilna Gaon, cited in Biur Halacha, 551, D.H Venahagu

[144]O.C. ibid

[145] Nitei Gavriel 37:2 in the name of the Chazon Ish

[146] Rama, O.C. ibid, 7

[147] O.C. ibid, 9

[148] Bait Yosef, 551, D.H. Katav HaKolBo See Bava Batra 60b

[149] Yalkut Yosef ibid, 23 in the name of the Chidah in Moreh Ba’etzbah (8:233)

[150] O.C. ibid 10

In the beginning of the Nine Days, all those invited may eat meat and drink wine. During the week of Tisha Be’Av, only the Baalei Simcha, their immediate relatives, and an additional ten people may do this (Rama, 551:10). 

Some say that one may hasten their learning (without compromising on the depth of the learning) to finish earlier than they would otherwise, but that they should not delay their learning for this purpose (Kaf HaChaim, 551:161).

[151] Mishnah Berurah ibid, 75

[152] Mishna Berurah ibid, 63

[153] See Piskei Teshuvot 551:39

[154] Nitei Gavriel 38:12

[155] Ibid, 1 see Mishna Berurah ibid, 70

See Kara Alai Moed by Rabbi Yosef Dov Septimus that some say one may feed meat to children younger than four years old. Some are lenient regarding chicken up to nine years old.

[156] Rama, 551:9

[157] O.C. 552:10

[158] Shloshim Yom Lifnei HaChag, page 232, note 176, citing Rav Moshe Feinstein

[159] Nitei Gavriel 38:4 and Yalkut Yosef 23

[160] Nitei Gavriel, 39:4 and 5

[161] O.C. ibid, 16

[162] Nitei Gavriel, 42:1 and Yalkut Yosef 18

[163] Nitei Gavriel, 4

[164] Mishnah Berurah, ibid, 94 and Nitei Gavriel 42:2

[165] Ibid, 6

[166] Ibid, 11

[167] See Shloshim Yom Lifnei HaChag, by Avraham Dickman, page 231 and She’arim HaMetzuyanim BaHalacha, 122:8

[168] Rama O.C. ibid

[169] Biur Halacha on ibid D.H. Im

[170] Shi’urei Shevet HaLevi, 199:4 

[171] Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata, vol. 2, chapter 42, note 190 in explanation of the Mishnah Berurah, 551:20. See also Taz, 551:13

[172] Mishna Berurah ibid, 16

[173] Nitei Gavriel 32:3

[174] Rav Chaim Kanievsky cited in Kara Alai Moed, Chapter 4, note 25

[175] Rav Vozner in Kovetz MeBait Levi, vol. 13, page 24

[176] Rama, O.C. 551:8

[177] Maaseh Rav, ot 159

[178] See Aruch HaShulchan, 551:22

[179] Sichot Kodesh 5735, page 344, see Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag, vol. 2 pg. 180

[180] Zechariah, 8:19

[181] Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag, ibid

[182] Sefer HaSichot, 5740 vol. 3, pg. 672

[183] Sefer HaSichot 5751, vol. 2, page 733

[184] Sha’arei Halacha Uminhag, ibid, pg. 181

[185] Rav Vozner in Kovetz MiBait Levi, vol. 13, page 49

[186] Elyah Rabbah, 551:24

[187] Nitei Gavriel, 93:7

[188] Mishnah Berurah, 551:32

[189] See Nitei Gavriel, 47:9

[190] Magen Avraham 282:12

[191] The Piskei Teshuvot (551, footnote 179) writes that this refers to a child between the ages of 6 and 9 or 10 (depending on the child’s maturity). If the only child that is available is older than that, one may use a child up until bar mitzvah (ibid, footnote 180 in the name of the Steipler Gaon). 

[192] Rama, O.C. 551:10 and Mishnah Berurah 70

[193] See Sichot Kodesh, 5738, vol. 3 pp. 496 that the Lubavitcher Rebbe once indicated that the wine should be given to a child 

[194] Mechaber, O.C. ibid

[195] Rama, ibid

[196] See Nitei Gavriel 39:11

[197] Aruch HaShulchan 551:26

[198] See Shulchan Aruch HaRav 295:4 that when someone else drinks the Havdalah wine it must be an adult who fulfilled the mitzvah of Havdalah by listening to that Havdalah.  .

In Siman 190:4 however, the Alter Rebbe rules that one may give the cup to a child to drink.

[199] See Nitei Gavriel, ibid

[200] Igrot Moshe, O.C. vol. 4:21, ot 4

Whoever Mourns for Jerusalem will Merit to See it's Joy (Ta'anit 30b). 

May this take place speedily!

Mon, March 4 2024 24 Adar I 5784